Breaking up is hard to do...

ORIGINALY POSTED ON Thursday, 17th April, 2008 06:25:21 am

Before you start bombarding me with questions, I might as well come out with it - yes, I have broken up with my boyfriend, Henrik. And for those of you who don't know, I had been with him for almost a year (on April 20th) and we lived in our own apartment together.

The descision to do so was one of the hardest - if not the hardest - decisions I've had to make in my entire life. It is not easy leaving someone - especially not, when you love them as much, as I love Henrik.
Then you might ask, "if you love him, then why did you leave him?" The answer to that is not simple.

During the last year, being with Henrik, I've experienced a lot of things with him - both bad and good. But when I look at myself from before I started dating him and in these last days of our relationship, it was as though I could not recognise myself anymore. All I did was work and work - and that was basically it. I had no time for my friends, I didn't go out much anymore - unless it was with Henrik, which wasn't often. I hardly had a life of my own.

And I know a relationship is about sharing. But isn't it also about knowing each other? Love and intimacy? About lying with each other, just knowing that it was meant to be?
I didn't get that feeling from Henrik.

Unfortunately he didn't really get why, I wanted to leave him. He didn't understand. And I'm not sure he ever will. But I guess that's for him to figure out.

Maybe what killed the relationship in the end was the age difference? I am 19 and he was 38 (I know it sounds absurd, but it really didn't seem to matter - in the beginning, that is). I guess I just wasn't ready for that kinda life. Work and work and settling down. I'm only 19 and I have a lot of living to do. Not that settling down, is not living! But work work work and work - is definitely not living.

I just hope one day, Henrik will understand. But I'm not so sure he ever will...

- Bjørn...